SAGES
by Jukashi
Summary: At the end of OoT, the Sages apparently went to live on Death Mountain. So what wacky sitcom adventures will they get up to?


S.A.G.E.S  
  
Whereupon the MIGHTY sages of Hyrule live in yon apartments upon ye olde Death Mountain, verily!  
  
Jukashi: 'Kay.... um... Hello! Not very good fic, short, I know, but please forgive me...(Falls on one knee and clasps his hands in supplication) I BEG OF THEE! I originally wrote this about two or three year ago, but I found it again and decided to post it, with improvements, of course, but the original terribleness probably still shines through. Disclaimer at the end. Enjoy!  
  
***  
Episode 1  
  
Saria and Ruto are sitting at a table in their apartment.  
  
Saria: .... So.  
  
Ruto: ....Yeah.  
  
Saria: You wanna do something?  
  
Ruto: .....................Nah.  
  
Long pause.  
  
Saria: Did you borrow my green hair dye?  
  
Ruto: No, I don't have any hair... it's gone missing?  
  
Saria: Yup.  
  
Nabooru walks past with green hair.  
  
Nabooru: I'm off to do some steali- I mean, shopping. See you later.  
  
Saria: See ya.  
  
Long pause.  
  
Saria: Hey, wait a minute...  
  
Ruto: What?  
  
Saria: (stands up with furious look) RAURU STOLE THE COOKIES FROM THE COOKIE JAR!!!  
  
Pause.  
  
Ruto: Saria, that was three weeks ago.  
  
Saria: It was?  
  
Ruto: Yes.  
  
Saria: .......Oh. (sits down)  
  
Ruto:(rolls eyes) ...and Impa, the dark spot in the corner does not count as a shadow, so stop trying to shroud yourself in it.  
  
Impa: Darn.  
  
Meanwhile, in the guys apartment.  
  
Rauru: Darunia, you should really stop taking steroids.  
  
Darunia: I DO NOT TAKE STEROIDS!!!  
  
Rauru: Suuuuuuuuuuuure. That's what all the gorons say.  
  
Darunia: Shut up. Now I'm going to get some coffee, for some reason that will probably not become apparant.  
  
Darunia walks over to the cupboard and opens it. Nabooru is inside, frozen in the middle of shoving some cutlery into her pockets. She grabs some coffee from next to her and hands it to Darunia, who takes it and closes the door. He then pauses, and opens the cupboard again, there is nothing there. He closes the door, pauses again, and reopens it again. There is still nothing within the enclosed, miniature storage space of the cupboard.  
  
Darunia: ...What happened to all that stuff we had?  
  
Rauru: I dunno. Must be time to buy more stuff. But... I'm too hungry to!  
  
Darunia: Me too. I'll go steal cookies off the girls. Then, with our strength returned, verily... (He points dramatically skyward) WE SHALL PURCHASE UNTIL WE LURCH - AS!  
  
Rauru stares at Darunia, who doesn't notice. The overly dramatic goron exits, and Rauru watches the TV.  
  
TV: Who says this horse can't be ridden? I'll show you what a REAL horse master can do!(short period of scuffling) WATHUMP!!  
  
Rauru: (Laughs) Oh, that crazy Ingo, what'll he do next?  
  
Back to the girls apartment. Darunia is standing on a chair reaching up at the cookie jar.  
  
Darunia: Urgh... Curse my short, weakling goron legs!  
  
Saria bursts in.  
  
Saria: AHA! I knew bursting into the kitchen at complete random would pay off! Now, I see you are stealing our beloved cookies! You will pay!  
  
Darunia: Oh yeah? How will I pay?  
  
Inu-yasha: (Appears from behind couch) Feh! (and then walks out the door.)  
  
Saria: ... Uh... (Regains focus) ...Like this! (takes out her ocarina)  
  
Darunia: NOOO!  
  
Saria starts playing her song.  
  
Darunia: (frozen) Music.... flowing through body.... must.... resist.... must not..... make..... fool of self........ aargh! (starts dancing) CURSE YOU SARIA!  
  
Nabooru walks in and sees Darunia dancing. She reaches behind him and takes his wallet, and walks into the next room.  
  
Darunia: AAARGH!  
  
Fade out with Darunia dancing, Credits play over backround of a short sequence playing:  
  
Rauru: I'm hungry. I'll get something from the fridge. (Goes off and opens the fridge door, then bends over to see whats in it)  
  
Impa enters, and stands behind Rauru to watch. He doesn't notice.  
  
Rauru: (beeper goes off) Huh?  
  
Zelda, temporarily visiting, pops in the door.  
  
Zelda: Look out Impa! He's backing up!  
  
Rauru: D'OH!!  
  
Credits: Ending Sequence Joke courtesy of Kid Phoenix, hail to his authorness. Special Guest appearance by Inu-yasha, Fehmaster. Special Thanks: Nuckpang, Katelin, Rumiko Takahashi, Link(He come to town!), Nintendo, and Saturday, greatest of days. All characters belong to people who are not me and were used without permission, please don't break my legs, I need them. R n' R if you like, but I don't need them to live like other authors... I think. Positive feedback and I might write another some day, so, until next time, bye! No gorons were harmed in the making of this fic.  
  
*Fade out* 


End file.
